I can’t tell you how many years I’ve sat there at the intersection of Harmon Ave and Paradise Rd. heading to the Hard Rock Hotel, and I look over to my right and see a moderate sized white building with a sign that says “Hofbräuhaus”. And I would think to myself, who even goes in there, Hofbräuhaus? German food in Vegas? Ok…whatever. With all these high end luxury glamour hotels, who has time for some run down Hofbräuhaus?

Answer? Everybody!

We happen to be in Vegas this for October, which just happens to be Oktoberfest. (If you must know, I stole the idea of Oktoberfest for my birthday month. If you can celebrate beer for a month, then you should definitely be able to celebrate your birthday for a month.) It’s mid-October, we go in and what I see absolutely amazes me.

This Hofbräuhaus in Las Vegas, Nevada… middle of the desert… is a beautiful replica of the original Hofbräuhaus in Munich, Germany.  The original was built in 1589 by Duke Maximiliann I. Amazingly enough, it wasn’t until 308 years later, in 1897, when  Ludwig I took over, that they actually opened the doors to the public. Previously it was a private bierhaus for the workers at the brewery. But when the brewery moved to the suburbs, really, they decided to repurpose the vast hall left behind. One of the first examples gentrification!  This is what Vegas does so well: Hofbräuhaus, Paris, Bellagio, Palazzo, all of them are replicas of the originals from Europe brought to the desert in living color. As we walk through these hotels and casinos in Vegas, I wonder how many people really take into account the effort it takes to replicate those great buildings. Even down to the ornate ceiling paint of the ‘sexpartite’, or six-parted supports for the ceiling. Sexpartite refers to the medieval Roman-inspired Saxon architecture of the vaulted support structure.

Not the wild Sex-parties that happen after guzzling stein after stein after stein of beer!

Once inside all the tables are communal tables were you sit down with any and everybody. Just our luck, we are set at a table with Drew and his buddies from Positive Proximity in Burbank, CA, my old hometown. They work for a small digital company and were already two steins deep into the evenings activities. Nancy and I did our best to catch up and the end result was a rousing evening of laughing, storytelling, Oompah bands, a chugging contest or two and something else that I simply refuse to remember.

I guess there some tradition in Germany, which explains Germans, where they feel paddling you is a public event to be shared by all. I seem to vaguely remember a girl bringing over Jägermeister shots, and I remember watching other people getting paddled and thinking that is crazy. The good thing is, the next morning I woke up not feeling any effect of the paddling at all. Which leads me to believe that maybe it didn’t happen. Maybe was all just a dream. And until I find the video I guess I’ll never know. Wait, just found it… oh you people are sick!

If you are on a diet and looking to eat healthy, Vegas may not be a destination for you. With so many 5-star restaurants here, the greatest concentration on the planet, this is a foodie mecca unlike anywhere else! Now, if you just want to try some of the wildest tastiest stuff, and you dig Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives, then head over to The LINQ, turn left and step into Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen. It’s a reflection of Guy’s style: down home comfort food thrown together after a late night beer run. All the burgers are double up on ingredients and the flavors smash together like chips on a burger for a crunchy childhood revisit. Remember when you used to think, this is great…but better with [insert favorite weird food here] on your food stuff? Guy does. And he does it well.

All your favorites are here: Fried chicken, burgers, fries, burgers, mac and cheese burgers. And don’t forget burgers. Oh…and a taco…and wings! OK, that’s enough, I can only eat so much, and so much is what I want. For our breakfast, we stopped in at the perfect breakfast hour of 1:00 in the afternoon. The line out front was easily an hour wait, but if just the 2 of us, we can make it if we try, we slithered passed the crowd and grabbed a seat at the bar. Score! And since it’s breakfast time, then anything that mentioned egg needs to be ordered. And where you have egg, you have bacon. But Guy kicks it up a notch by deep frying the bacon to give it a fried-chicken-like crunchy taste that would stand on its own as a Mayor of Flavor Town candidate. Add cheese, gravy and tomato, and yes, damn good!

Unfortunately, for every Yin, there’s a Yang. How could you go wrong with a Mac and Cheese burger. The name says it all. The Mac was too light, flavorless and not fun. I simply slid off the burger with every bite, and tasted more like Kraft Velveeta than something Guy might whip up. And why wouldn’t you put the Mac under the patty to hold in in place better. The saving grace is that even with the Mac dropping off, the burger was still tasty. Guy always love a good does of pepper to flavor things up, and its just right for this burger. Add 2 strips of bacon (next time make it 3!), sliced lettuce and that fires tray, and I was still having a good time here. The office, as I call it, is setup like a sports bar so big screens all around to provide plenty of entertainment. But since we were up until 3am the night before, and Cosmo was giving away Tequila like its out of style, time for a Bloody Mary. And Oh Mary! Its a breakfast Mary with 2 slices of bacon, sausage, pickles, lemon (to kill the taste of last night) oranges and olives. Hell, that’s breakfast right there!

So it was a good time. The bartenders are fun and friendly, Alex was awesome, the place is lively. Sitting at the bar removes the wait, but sitting on the patio puts you in the heart of the action. It faces towards the passage between The LINQ and Harrah’s with the Carnaval Court in the background adding live music. Thousands walk pass this point, so you’re bound to see something you shouldn’t see, or can’t unsee. (Really, you thought it was ok to wear THAT!?! In public!?!) It’s a festive atmosphere that adds to the flavors of the food. You don’t just go there, you become a participant, observer and observed. It’s Vegas baby!

• Guy Fieri’s Vegas Kitchen
• 3535 S Las Vegas Blvd, Las Vegas, NV 89109
• (702) 794-3139
• Open: 9am – 12am

Remember that commercial about the guy who gets hit by a bus, ends up in heaven with all the cookies he can eat? But when he reaches for the milk cartons, they’re empty! Ha ha, you’re not in heaven! That’s the way I kind of felt about the Delano. Upon arrival of the Delano, which is attached to the Mandalay Bay, we pull up and see a Bugatti Veyron in the valet parking. Oh yeah that’s my car. This is the kind of luxury and class and I’m looking for. Fortune may smile on me this visit after all.

It was 2 o’clock in the morning, and fortunately a valet was available to take our bags up. I walk through the front doors, between the two halves of a 62-ton metaquartzite boulder. Interesting…no fascinating! Typical Vegas, it’s so sublime, and yet, how many floors can even support 62-tons, let alone have a design team split the boulder, and place it just right. To read more, click here for the Best of Vegas story. We get to the front desk, we check in, the hostess was a little snippy. I don’t mind so much I was just thinking about this cool entrance and that Bugatti. Vegas, baby Vegas! This Delano is total hipster chic that is tangible and appealing. We get up to our floor, a cool hallway, interesting photographs lining the walls with a really nice design. Old Vegas and hip desert scenics. I’m thinking this place is the bomb! My only previous brush with the Delano, pronounced Del-la-noe, as in Franklin D, US President #32, not DE-lan-no, like the Italian getaway in South Beach, Miami. That place is dope! I love that lobby bar tucked off to the side behind the 30 foot curtains flowing through the entryway. Perfect for South Beach on a perfect summer’s eve.

Delano Living Room

So we get to the room, we walk in and nice! The room is decked out in soft white through and through. The wall, the flooring, the furniture. Along the left wall a good 42 inch wall-mounted TV, business desk underneath with minimalist gold legs. A comfortable looking couch with chaise. Oh look there, a wet bar! Sink, faucet, a couple of wine glasses standing on glass shelves. A mini fridge underneath. Looking good so far. Hmmm, what’s behind this door? Closet maybe? Wait, what? This is the bathroom? Theres no shower! Wait, don’t tell me, are you kidding me? A second bathroom? I’ve never been in a hotel in Las Vegas that had two bathrooms! This is awesome! I’m in heaven!

We call down to the valet to bring our bags up. He’s a very courteous guy, and interestingly enough, his name is Curtis. Really cool guy, he steps out to get us a bucket of ice. Time to chill the Courtage! That was very nice of him. I leave a nice tip. I take the bags into the curved bedroom to unzip, so I can unpack and put my clothes into the dresser drawers. I always like to make myself at home when I travel, so I completely unpack and put all my clothes in the dresser drawers…where are the drawers? Wait… where are the drawers!?! Seriously, where are the drawers!?!?! Oh oh… this ain’t heaven!

As luxurious and well laid out as this place is designed, there are no drawers here. And to add insult to injury, we open the closet doors, and it’s half the size of most Las Vegas luxury rooms. How can this be? There is one small drawer at the base of the closet, and I pull it out, it’s only about 18 inches deep. Are you kidding me? We upgraded to a scenic suite which has the cool wrap around windows, king size bed with a ultra lux headboard that was oh so visually appealing. But no drawers!

And to add additional insult to injury, there’s only one luggage rack. Of course it goes to my wife. Thank God the bed has a foot bench to put my suitcase.

We head down to the casino for a little wine down late-night action at the slots. When we come back up it’s time to hit the bed. I’m not in heaven! The bed feels like it’s been hit several times before, like, a lot of times before! wink wink! You can literally see the depression in the mattress. Looks like this they have been slept on for quite some time, and since this is Vegas, by quite a few people. Wink wink.

The next morning we wake and hit the shower. And yes, we’re not in heaven. They didn’t even spring for shower gel. Just bar soap! Can you believe it? Good thing I had my Laura Tonatto shower gel from Milan packed in my toiletries bag. Yes you never know when you’re going to need gel, even in luxury high rise hotels in Vegas.

One aspect we really did enjoy about The Hotel (get it?) is the Skyfall lounge. It’s located on the 54th floor, with a private entrance, and views to die for! Since The Delano is at the southern end of the strip, you get to see all the other hotels in a single view. And in the summer, at evening, with those desert sunsets, the view is amazing. I highly recommend making reservations around 30 mins prior to sunset to get settled in for the show. We were a little, and since it was fall, a little chilly as well, and had prior reservations so we missed the show. But next summer, I’ll make sure I’m on time and you’ll have some nice pics.

The bar is done up in a deep blue-purple theme, with wood and neon green highlights. Think Jetsons meet Prince. There are these big bulbous globular rings that are lit internally and provide and soft ambient lighting effect. Like I said, I cant wait to check this place out at sunset and into the evening. The crowd is upscale to match the futuristic feel of the place. It seems like a great place to meet some pretty interesting, in a good way, people here. New age intellectuals channeling the ancient desert energy in a posh hot spot.

Overall, the room is built more for an overnight traveler, or ultra highrollers who don’t lug clothes around. But just buy new clothes wherever they go. If I’m a business traveler, this is perfect to have the place all to myself. But for a family man on a weekend getaway, not my bag baby. I give the Delano high marks for its design and appeall. But the lack of drawers definitely left a sour taste. Very disappointing. I did don’t feel as if I could kick back and relax. Put my feet up and sit a spell, not with my clothes still sitting in their bag. I’m sorry Delano, I call this one, one and done. It’s not you, it’s me.

Yeah, that’s pretty much it. I was actually disappointed, but let me tell you about that later. We land and right off the bet we hit the best and the worst of Milan.

We start off walking through the airport, and a guy does the “Do you need a ride?” Oh what the hell, I’m tired and want to experience the best of Milan, fashion capital of the world. He takes one of our bags, takes us over to a counter, charges us $75, and walks us out the terminal. I’m starting to think does this guy realize I’m wearing my cape under my clothes, what does he think he going to get away with here? Next thing I know, bam! We’re loading up a sweet ass MB E350! Oh snap baby! This is the way you make an entrance to the fashion capital. The Espresso and Black interior was pure Italian. Reminds me of my father’s old Lancia. I sit back and take it all in, buon giorno signore.

Now I’m all excited about the aspect of being in Milan, fashion capital of the world. Although a Maserati would have been more appropriate, we are in this elegant car on our way through the streets of Milan to our DoubleTree Hotel. Unfortunately, this dream has come to an abrupt end. Fashion capital of the world? Driving through the streets, where is the fashion?  Milan, it turns out, is a left over from old World War II days. The city is a massive conglomeration of ancient deco styles, but none of it really comes together as high fashion. More like shabby chic. The streets are incredibly bad, most of them are still cobble stone, making you wonder how did a horse and buggy ever get across this? The buildings are more low maintenance than high fashion. Don’t give me wrong, it’s still a little better than most of New Orleans, or even South Houston. This is simply not what I imagined when I’ve been told for the last 55 1/2 years that this is Milan, fashion capital of the world. Where’s the shine…the sheen…the glamour?

We finally arrive at the DoubleTree Hotel, and the entry and lobby are quite nice. Now this is what I expected Milan to look like: Lean and clean lines, minimalist design, elegant and luxurious. We check in, Stefano was so helpful with information about town. The room is comfortable, an appropriate size for a more business travel oriented hotel like the DoubleTree.  Nancy says she’s starving so we walk out to check the neighborhood out to see what kind of local leads are available. Yes, I would probably would have been appropriate to simply order room service, but I want to see Milan! In the lobby is my first taste of Milan fashion. A small men’s store is located in the lobby with suits, jackets, ties, even shoes. I try on a couple of jackets, but nothing is quite the right size. Oh well, this is a hotel, so what do you expect? Outside in the streets is where the real fashion happens. I want to get out in the streets and see the people. See the people? The streets are empty and we walk about a quarter-mile before we reach the main street which has the number 14 trolley car. We hang a left and walk down another quarter-mile before we find a restaurant open, and it’s the Chinese restaurant we saw driving in, Ristorante Cinese Felice. Better known as Happy Chinese Restaurant. Everything else looks closed up, so we go in, but this little Chinese place was not what I was expecting to have as my first meal  in Milan. But Nancy is hungry and she loves Chinese food, so she orders. Our first night in Milan is a quiet one while we eat in the room.

Day 1 Milan: We head out to grab lunch and walk up the street from the hotel. Yesterday I saw a place that looked like a café, so let’s check that out and get some local flavor. We find the café, named Tom and Jerry. Tom and Jerry? Give me break, like the American cartoons? I look up and there’s actually the cat and mouse characters on the marquee, so yes, that Tom and Jerry. We head inside and have our first Italian meal. Finally!  From here we hop the trolley that runs throughout the city, and head to Central Milano. Rundown buildings, cobblestone streets, and various people scaring about. But as we get to Milan, the look becomes more retail, and more and more store fronts start popping up. But still, nothing in the vein of the glamour that I expected. Our first stop is il Duomo, this is tourist central for Milan. There’s got to be 10 to 20,000 people walking about here. The Duomo is massive, enormous, gigantic, and any other superlative you can think of to indicate a church that’s the oldest in Italy and something like the 4th or 5th largest in the world. I notice the intense amount of sculptures around the building. I mean they are everywhere, never ending. Imagining the man hours of this level of detail in, this is the kind of thing you do for life, and it’s also why you wind up only living until you’re 40. What an incredible amount of work, and the craftsmanship is amazing.

Next to il Duomo is the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II. Now this is the Milan I expected, open air shopping with tons of gelato shops and high-end fashion such as Dior, Prada, Gucci. But, this is just one small little area. Maybe 1000 meters each way. It’s fabulous to walk through and marvelous to look at, but this is all in very small given the importance of fashion capital of the world. We walk around and come across the Ferrari store now this is cool. Maybe I can go in and buy some Ferrari gear, straight from Italy! Wait, this is the same stuff from the F1 website. And look, it’s 15% more with the conversion rate. never mind. Now I’m hungry and we get pulled into Gino’s 1928 for dinner. This is a little again getting back to the Milan that I expected. We finished dinner and look up in the sky is the most incredible color of royal blue.  It looks as if there’s got to be some kind of artificial lighting to give at this color, but no, that’s just the color of Milan around 9 o’clock at night at the end of August. Absolutely incredible. Then I remember the night sky in Monaco and Nice. Must be something in the Mediterranean air. Back at the hotel, the men’s store is still there, but now the attendant has left although the suits are still there. I dig a little deeper, determined to find a jacket to take home as my Milan suit. Nothing. Now I’m really eager to head back into Milan to find some proper Milanese fashions.

Day 2 – Monza: We head out to the race track, and this time we just decide to eat lunch at the track. It’s a beautiful day, and Stefano’s instructions on getting to the track via train are spot on. A DoubleTree shuttle takes us to Certosa station. From there we ride up to the Biassano-Lesmo station, and along with 10,000 other fans, we file off and follow the herd to the gate. This entry takes us to a tunnel that crosses under the track, and next thing I know, I hear Formula 2 cars roaring. We exit on the infield of the Lesmos turns. Awesome! The cars are still running v8 engines, so they are loud and fast. They came zipping by and it reminds me of the old days of general seating being right there at the track at ground level. I can’t believe I’m actually here. We continue walking and spend the next hour or so watching and walking the cars. By days end, I’m exhausted and ready for shopping and eating, let’s head back!

Back in town we walk around looking for Milan fashion. And we find it! But we can’t afford it! Oh snap! We head over to “Quadrilatero d’Oro“, the Golden Square which is the Milan high end section for shopping. But unfortunately, all the stores are behind closed doors, guarded courtyards or otherwise secluded viewing unless you’re holding an Amex Black Card. The only sense of high-fashion the general public gets are a couple of gold street plaques, and the Patek Philippe street clock. I bet that thing was awesome 60 years ago! Oh well, start heading back towards il Duomo, and in doing so, we walk through a couple of shopping areas and wind up in Galleria del Toro. Here we see Diesel, got that at home. Ray-Ban, got that…Vans got that…Levi’s GOT THAT! Oh my God, where is the Milan fashion? Oh well, it’s raining now, and at least I get some awesome Milan fashion pictures of people walking in the rain.

Day 3 – Monza: Oh boy, it’s raining, but hopefully when we get to the track it will all work out. It doesn’t. It is a downpour, and what we learned from yesterday, the underground tunnel leads to the infield and an hour or so of walking through what is surely now a mud pit, so we map out that getting off the train at Biassono was the wrong move, and we should switch trains and get off at Sovico. Of course we catch the wrong train and wind up in Acore. And not only are we lost, but it takes forever for the return train to bring us back. We lose an hour before we are back at Biassono-Lessmo station. Oh well, screw it, let’s walk up the Via Parco to the back gate of the park. The walk was only 15 minutes yesterday, let’s go! Now it starts raining, and 25 minutes later we reach the gate. Nancy is taking this much better than I am.

But at least we see the one Ferrari, in Red body and Red-White-Green accents, and that brings a smile to my face. The park inside the gate is a mess. It’s all mud now, and we finally make our way up to the grandstand and hear the cars in the rain. By the time we hit our seats, qualifying has been delayed indefinitely due to rain. Well f#$% this! Back down the stairs, well, at least let’s check out the Fan Zone. It’s a 15-20 walk avoiding mud pits and swamp land. Guards keep telling us to stay in the ribbons, but screw ’em, I’m trying to stay dry foot and mud free. We get to see the Auto Concourse, that ’54 Maserati is sweet! We try to find the right racing gear to buy, new AMG Mercedes for Nancy, and I’m still trying to find a blue Williams tech shirt for me. I need to honor Felipe Massa on his last tour of duty, and come hell or high water, I’m going to do it. Well, the high water is here, guess hell is right around the corner. But wait! I find it! Oh no…it’s a medium and I need a large. What the hell, buy it, and if I find a large later, I can swap them. Holy Shit! I have a blue Williams shirt, bought at the Italian Grand Prix. Does life get any better? Yes! Read on…

We get back to the hotel after a day at the track and we’re soaking wet. But we dry out and head out to Eataly for dinner. While waiting in the lobby for a ride from the shuttle service, I look up and see Mika Hakkinen! Yes that Mika Hakkinen: former McLaren driver, 2-time F1 world champion. This is awesome but I’m literally too shy to walk up and introduce and say hi to him. I take a Picture through the crowd that he is sitting with, about 10 or 12 people are discussing something that looks very important. It’s cool, I got a picture of him, but, geez I should’ve gone back and said hi. Oh well, note to self: Grow a pair! Well, let’s hit it and head over to Eataly. We have been fortunate in that Stefano, does this guy ever go home, sets us up with a ride to the station to get to Eataly. We head out, and again, driving down these crazy streets and we are met with good fortune: a rainbow. I didn’t even know they had these in Italy 🙂

We get to Eataly, and this place is crazy! Everyone is just a buzz, and with such warmth and generosity towards everyone. In contrast to our last Eataly experience in New York, where the crowd was uptight and rude, Milan is comfortable and welcoming. We have a good time walking the place, all 3 stories, trying to figure out what to eat. There are about 6 or 7 fooderies to dine at. We choose the large restaurant on the second floor and get ourselves a huge Quatrofolgio pizza. It has four different flavors, so we can both have a taste of the goodness. We are chugging down a bottle of Bianco we got from the 3rd floor wine shop. And once again, I’m blown away by how much English is spoken here. The clerk comes over and in Italian asks to help. As soon as my dear-in-the-headlight glance catches his, he immediately switches to English and we chat as if this was back home in LA.

Dinner was great, the experience wonderful, and the people fantastic. For a moment, I forget about the fashion search and I’m just enjoying the royal blue night sky. I love this place. I think I’m drunk. May every night be as good as tonight. The driver said he would be back at the train station at 9:00p, and we arrive spot on, and there he is, pulling up on time. How is this. I encourage him to race other drivers on the way back to the hotel, he takes me up ever so slightly, he is driving a min-van after all. But there were a couple of times he punched it and we go bumping down the street into Turn 1. Yeah, I wish.

Day 4 – Park Hyatt: Before heading out to the track we pack up and head over to drop our bags off at our new hotel, the Park Hyatt Milan. We called and they said that we they would be more than happy to hold our bags for us which is fantastic. A driver takes us from DoubleTree to Park Hyatt, and after checking in, the hotel is right next to a train station making easy transport to the track. Today, the weather is perfect, although the grass and mud areas are still a little soggy, but it’s a fantastic day to watch a race. The Italian Air Force does a fly by to start things off, first climbing high, then dropping down to do a low level fly-by on the crowd, trailing Red-White-Green smoke. How cool is that. Why don’t US races do this? They always yap about how patriotic they are, and yet I’ve never seen a Red-White-Blue con-trail behind a jet at an auto race. I need to write about this to someone. Anyway, the weather was awesome, the race was fast, but not fast enough for the Ferrari drivers. Kimi Raikkonen actually was passed later in the race, losing 4th place. And this was such a contrast to his brilliant start of the race. See the video of the 1st lap, the crowd was going crazy over him. Oh well, I’m sure he’ll get over it. All of a sudden, 71 laps have flown by, and it is time for the time honored tradition of running down to the podium. Fans at the italian GP, unlike any other, go running down the main straight to pack 100,000 fans on to the track to participate in the trophy presentations.  It’s a pretty awesome event, and whats so call is you get the see the track and facilities up close. And it’s here that you notice the cracks in the asphalt of the and the general deterioration of the place. Just like Milan.

After the race we head back to the hotel. We freshen up and head out to walkabout the courtyard of il Duomo. I’m again looking for fashion, but I begin to notice everyone here wears American casual. I don’t think I’ve seen so many Abercombie & Fitch shirts ever! And then America’s greatest export, rock n’ roll in the form of a kid playing as Slash on the guitar, jamming on Gun’s n Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine”. That’s what’s so interesting about Milan, everybody wears American tagged items. Oh well, still no Milan fashion, so let’s have dinner at Granaio next door. We dine on a fantastic filter and my cheesy lasagna bowl like substance. We discuss plans for next day, driving out to the Serravalle Outlet to get some Milan fashion for sure! Now I’m getting giddy about it. Although, I should have bought that Milan t-shirt the one sidewalk vendor had. A cool if not simple white t-shirt with red MI, white L and green AN. That would have sufficed as a fashion statement back home.

Day 5 – Serravalle: The next day we’re up and the plan is that we rent a car on Monday use it to drive around and then Tuesday we drive ourselves to the airport saving from the $95 transfer cost. A great idea as it lets us get out and explore the city a little more with a quick little drive around town. See the Driving around Milan video to get a feel for it. We head out to Serravalle to the outlet center to that when people say this is the real shopping. Finally I’m going to get my hands on some serious Milanese fashion! We walk over the Europcar rental shop. It is hot and stuffy here. But then it hits me. I’ve been in Milan for 4 days now, 3 days at the race track,  and I’ve seen only 1 Ferrari. ONE! What the heck is going on here!?! This is Italy, right? I mean none at the parking lot, none at the party spot, none when we rode the bus back to the Monza station. Nothing. Just a bunch of baby Fiat Pandas and Renault Clios. Tiny little cars for over priced European fuel and no where to park anyway. And just as I was thinking this, bam! This wahoo pulls up in his Lamborghini! What? Finally, but of course, he’s English and it’s just a rental. I think, that should have been me. How cool would it be to drive around Milan in a Lamborghini? But before I could finish that dream, the attendant pulls up in our Citroen C1. How embarrassing! This car looks like a stiff wind would just blow it over. OMG! and it’s in Whimpy Blue. And it’s French! I thought we were getting a Fiat? Oh no, it is a time honoured tradition to drive the car of the country we are in. In Italy, driving a French car, oh no!

Oh well, we get in and head out. What a trip. There’s a red light every 5 seconds. At one point I gun and blast through a light, but to no avail, the next light catches me dead. As in I was so upset about all these lights that I forgot it was a manual drive and stalled the car. And yes, you guessed it, it would not start up. Again, in my frustration, I forgot to press the clutch in. Oh well, we’re off!

90 minutes along A7 to Serravalle, and one thing I notice is that the drivers are so polite. Everybody stays on the right lane leaving the left lane open for speeders like myself. Driving in my mighty mighty Citroen C1, a whopping 56 horse power scooters down the highway at above posted speeds. We get to the outlet center and lo and behold, the prices are actually 10% higher than the outlet center here in Vegas and in Cabazon. Are you kidding me? We walk around, I think we buy a T-shirt or two as souvenirs, we have lunch at Ham Holy Cow. How could you not eat at a place like that. I see the hugo Boss store, and same, why buy this suit for €600 euros, when I can buy it for $500US back home. What a dud. We had back to Milan in time for our show at Teatro alla Scala. Tonight, it’s Hantzel and Gretel, the original German version. The theater is amazing, although a little cramped, but it’s an interesting show. Good thing I read the notes prior to viewing because I have no idea what they were talking about. But it’s a fantastic experience and we had a fantastic time and I can’t believe it’s already over.

Day 5 – Malpensa: We are up and headed to the airport. The bags get loaded into this tiny little 4-door scooter. I look up and see the Galleria Vittorio  totally empty. Ah, one last shot before leaving. We wave good-bye and exchange pleasantries with the staff, the door men up this early are  still bright and cheery. I have come to appreciate the Italian spirit. What wonderful people and everyone treats you like family here. Ciao, we head out and have a caravan with a BMW 7-series. This was kind of fun as this guy was a little heavy on the gas pedal. But the with a red light every 5 seconds, the Citroen could handle it. The drive is a fun one to say goodbye through the city and then see some of the more of the countryside. Interestingly enough, we Google map the rental car location, and they actually use the image of our little Citroen, the same light blue color, as their tag. How funny. We get to the airport in plenty of time, and irony of ironies, in the airport is an actual Williams Formula One car on display. How cool is that?  Two weekends of Formula One racing and it’s at the Malpensa airport that I finally get to touch a Formula One car. Just don’t tell anybody I touched it, I had to slide under the rope, but I was going to touch that damn car no matter what. OK, let’s head over to some duty free to buy all sorts of alcohol to bring onto the plane. We’re headed home now, arrivederla Milano. It’s been grand!

Post Note: All the time searching for high-end men’s fashion in Milan I came home with nothing. We had a five hour layover in New Jersey, so we headed over to Jersey park place to walk around the mall there for some last-minute shopping and dining. Turns out it’s an outlet center, turns out they have a Hugo boss store there, and the last gray suit they had, which was also on sale, turns out was my size! Finally, I get my Milan fashion and first Hugo Boss suit…in New Jersey! At least I can claim it’s a Hugo Boss suit from our Milan trip. Italian fashion search is over!

There is something about the Milan night sky. Maybe it’s something about this particular latitude? No, because Nice and Monaco had the same beautiful blue sky late at night. Maybe it’s the ocean air? No, Milan is quite a ways inland and no ocean breeze to speak of.

Maybe is the air quality? No, Milan reportedly has pretty bad air compared to Nice and Monaco. So pollutants are not making a difference here. Well then can someone lend a hand here and identify what’s the key feature of Milan night sky that makes it such a brilliant blue? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. Thanks and enjoy the slide show…

After the show, walking out, it was quite a thrill. All these wonderful Italians chatting away. We walked around the inside, not wanting to leave, taking pictures here and there. It’s a classic opera house in every sense of the word, nothing more, nothing less. But all the moreso. As confusing as that opera 🙂

As it crazy as it may sound, everyone in Milan kept talking about going out to an outlet center to shop for clothes. As a fan of outlets in Las Vegas and Palm Springs, I was excited about the opportunity to get my hands on some fine Italian goods. Imagine our surprise when this “amazing” outlet center turned out to be the same “amazing” outlet center… as Las Vegas and Palm Springs. Check another box for globalization. I’ll just get my Vans when I get back home.  But that horse in the fountain was unique and inspiring.

The main entry to Serravalle has an almost Disneyland feel about it. Maybe it’s the terracota colors or the faux facades, either way, It’s a Small World Afterall.

The horse is prevalent in Italian culture. It represents both the peace and strength of the people. But ironically, it’s Englishman Nic Fiddian-Green who created this sculpture, Still Water.

Just a little image wizardry. To imply the large cloud of smoke is coming out of the little funnel. Is it an announcement of a new Pope?

These hyper dramatic clouds hung over the location all day, but not a drop of rain fell. It was quite pleasant weather compared to Saturday.

Chips and Fries, or potatoes and chips as the Euros call them at Ham Holy Burger. Yes, this isn’t Milan, so we could finally get a burger with no tourist penalty points assigned.

It was nice to see Gucci featured so prominently, but wondered how it was that the store was situated in the shadow. Although the heavens seem the shine on the global Gucci label, at home, the marquee brand is in the shadows. Well, at least the actual marquee. But I guess since this is the back of the store, that means the entrance is basking in the glow of the heavens. I guess that halo has some real meaning behind it.

There is nothing more beautiful than a black and white photograph. I don’t want recess of our primitive minds comes out to play when color is removed from life. The dark shadows evokes our id, the bright whites give us hope of some sort. And when black and white is combined with ancient looking ruins, then the feeling is amplified. These photos are some of my favorite from our stop in Milan for the Gran Premio d’ Italia, the Formula 1 Italian Gran Prix at Monza.

The Park Hyatt Milano is a five-star hotel that exudes the luxury of upper class travel. Although a little smaller in size than other Park Hyatt properties, mainly due to the size restrictions of Centro Milano, the hotel is still nothing but class. At the entry of the hotel you were greeted by three guard dogs. Don’t worry, they don’t bite. The sculptures by artist Velasco Vittorio are a tribute to the dog friendly aspect of the hotel. They actually have a VID program, Very Important Dog, that offers such pooch pamperings as luxury bedding for your dog, fresh mineral water from designer bowels, and dog sitting services.

Where PHM shines is it’s location. You literally cannot ask for a better location for sight seeing, shopping and dining. Step outside the front door of the hotel, and you’re just feet away from the Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II, a wonderful, beautiful luxurious airy mall housing Italy’s favorite fashions. All the top and designers are here: Gucci, Prada, Dior, etc. But beyond that shopping, there are several eateries, and of course, the Duomo. This is the magic spot for tourists: Shopping, sightseeing, and Italian culture all in one location.

Back in the room, the bed setup is wonderful. A soft, fluffy pillow topping lulls you into a relaxed state as soon as you hit the sheets. A nice digital clock with USB ports to charge you phone. 3 shelves provides ample storage for various keys, change, tickets and any other baggage you feel a need to just dump out but not store away just yet. The pillows are perfect down with foam inserts that do a great job at supporting your sleep. Soft and gentle, yet the firmness is supportive and not a hard rock bottom after a few hours of snoozing. I slept like a baby! If you need more sleep support, there’s the spa downstairs, where the aromatherapy instantly lowers your stress level by 4 to 5 points. They also offer massage and steam rooms to help you unwind. I personally just took a seat in the teak chairs and a deep breath had me in another world realm of peacefulness.

To continue the peaceful trend, roll out of bed and into a luxurious bath. The bath is a full length tub surrounded by fine Italian marble and black ceramic fixtures. If a shower is more your style, then a spacious stand up glass shower will welcome you with a soft flowing rain shower hear, and a hand held soft flow head. A seating area in the shower can help for those days following wild Italian Grappa fueled nights.

After you’re up, get going with an in-room coffee via a small Illy coffee maker. The good thing is that there are enough stores next door to buy some new coffee flavors and/or espresso to really get you going. If you’re ready to grab a bite, the hotel is also home to the Michelin star restaurant, VUN Andrea Aprea, the more affordable dining at Dehors, and dining at the bar Mio which includes outside seating. There are also plenty of dining options close to the hotel, just a few minutes of walking and various level of gourmet. Immediately across the street is Granaio. This café/restaurant offers some wonderful dining options, great deserts, and of course, relaxing with Italian coffees in either of two outside seating areas as well as indoor seating.